


Red Balloon

by Aestheticdenbrough



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Multi, based on a song so don't mind the lyrics strewn about, kaspbrough is my shit im sorry, super slowburn hopefully
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-07 11:44:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15218432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aestheticdenbrough/pseuds/Aestheticdenbrough
Summary: Post Pennywise incident. Eddie wonders how to cope with the aftermath, and his feelings for his best friend, and his mother.





	1. The Fear Is The Ribbon Tied Around My Neck

Eddie walks back to his house, light on his feet as not to be noticed. His efforts were fruitless as his mother looked up from the television screen upon his entrance. 

“ _Eddie-Bear_? Where were you?” she asks, her voice holding it’s normal shrillness that would make any other child cringe. Eddie just stands and listens to his mother’s intrusive questions. He responds with the usual “yes ma”... “the quarry”...“yes with my friends, ma”. He escapes as fast as he can to his room.

He lays on his bed, looking up at the ceiling and putting his earbuds into his ears. A soft distraction from everything around him. A song with soft guitar fills his ears as he closes his eyes to think. 

_Tied down to his worries. Dreams of taking flight, slowly moving out of sight._

_The house, the clown, Georgie, the sewers, it’s all so gross, and I handled it. I can be okay in a situation like that, it’s real life I can’t really handle_. He can still feel the germs crawling around his skin, sending a shiver down his spine even in his calmest state. He squeezes his eyes tight and tries to shove the thought away again. _I’m in my room. My room is safe._

He lays like this until his mother calls him to dinner. He’s still unsettled from the recent events but he tries his best not to pick at his food, it’ll worry his mom. It’ll make it worse. He already felt her eyes on him all the time and her breath down his neck. Especially after the ‘gazebos’ debacle. He finishes his food and puts his plate in the dishwasher, taking the pills set out for him with a glass of water. _I don’t even really know what she thinks these are for. I definitely know they don’t really do anything_. He remembers. He wants to stand up to her again, but she seems to want to go on like it’s never happened and at least he wouldn’t be punished for that situation. 

“Goodnight, ma,” he says softly, she gives him an expectant look and he walks over to her side of the table, kissing her cheek awkwardly. She gives him a smile, the kind that is meant to be sweet but really makes him want to barf.

He goes to the bathroom, brushing his teeth carefully and putting on a pair of pajamas. He plugs his phone in at his desk, crawling into bed after. He shuts his eyes and pretends to be asleep before his mom peeks her head in through his slightly cracked open door. If he’s asleep, there’s no further discussion. He waits until he hears her footsteps fade down the hallway and into her own room before opening his eyes again. _I don’t want to think about this all but I think I have to_. He shifts, trying his best to get comfortable but the thoughts intrude his head. _Bev is moving away tomorrow, stan is hurt_ , I’m _hurt, Bill wasn’t able to find what he was looking for, Mike_ killed _someone, Ben is going to miss Beverly_. He can’t get it out of his head how much this is going to change _everything._

_I can’t imagine how Bill is feeling right now. Going through all that, for that outcome. Knowing he put all of_ us _through that. I hope he knows he didn’t do anything wrong. I wonder if he’s asleep?_ The curiosity draws Eddie out of bed and back to his phone. He picks it up and unlocks it, going straight to his conversation with Bill. 

_Eddie to Big Bill, sent at 9:34pm_

_Hey! You up, Billy?_

 

Bill sees the message relatively quickly, typing a response and stopping for a moment before the gray typing bubble appears again. Eddie frowns a bit at the pause, although he knows Bill is careful of his words. The way he speaks is always concise and eloquent. He finally receives a response from the other boy. “Yeah I am, what do you need?”

_Eddie to Big Bill, sent at 9:38pm_

_Don’t need anything, just thinking too much. Are you alright though?_

Bill types again, then stops. The typing bubble doesn’t show up again for a while. Eddie frowns, deciding to assume that Bill had just fallen asleep, understandably. Eddie looks down at his hand, he’d already cleaned it and bandaged it before he’d gone home, making sure his mom didn’t notice, although he knows he probably couldn’t hide it forever. It would leave a nasty scar, another reminder for the future. He’d never forget. He puts his phone down dejectedly and crawls back under the covers of his bed. Exhaustion sets in and he slips off to sleep, finally.   
-

It’s the next day, the quiet rustle of the trees and the shine of the water bellow bringing a serene atmosphere to the contradictory situation. Bev left that morning, so the remaining losers sit with their legs hanging over the quarry cliff edge. They sit in a tense silence. We’re stronger together. Bev had said that. A shiver runs down Eddie’s spine. What- what if it’s not gone? And we’re not together? He thinks anxiously, kicking his legs around some and he feels the color drain from his face. He curses under his breath at how obvious his anxiety is. I’m supposed to be stronger than this.

Bill looks over to him, his blue eyes shining with knowledge, he knows, he understands. “E-eddie, you alright? Y-y-y-you look a little p-pale,” the other boy creases his eyebrows in worry.

“I’m fine,” Eddie spits out quickly, “just- it’s just been a bad few days,” he says softly.

“You can say that again,” Richie throws in his comment, like always. He blows his cigarette smoke the opposite direction.

“I’ve got to go home,” Stan says softly, twiddling his fingers in his lap. He probably could stay a little longer but the quiet had been cutting him like a knife.

A sad chorus of “bye Stan, be safe”’s echoed as he stands up, he gives them a small smile before turning around to get on his bike and pedal off. 

Eddie sits quietly after, not knowing what he's supposed to do to make this better. He doesn't think he can make it feel better. He thinks they may just all feel really weird for a really long time. It would make sense. It's like their fears had been exploited, really they had been. 

 

Bill takes a cigarette that Richie offers to him, taking a long pulls off of it, tension seeming to melt away as he releases the smoke in small rings. It was almost calming just to watch, even though it made his lungs feel like they were twitching and quivering just seeing it happen.

 

_My asthma isn't real. It's fake_ , he scolds himself, breathing in deeply before turning to Richie, "hey- uh Rich can I have one of those?" He asks shakily.

Eddie stubs his out after only breathing the smoke in once, his lungs still feeling constricted. But I did it, he thinks triumphantly, grinning at his friends, "I get why you do that now," he says softly, remembering the warmth that had travelled down his throat into his lungs, leaving him feeling both powerless and completely in control all at once. 

Ben and Mike look concerned, unknowing of what they could do to help, not liking the look they can sense in Eddie's eyes.

"I've g-gotta go," Bill says softly, giving each of his friends a nod, standing up on his own two feet, taking a while to regain his balance. "I'll t-text you guys later," he says, jogging off to silver.

"I have to go too," Mike says, looking down at the water rippling with the later summer breeze. "Promised my parents I'd help with the planting," he explains as he gets up, walking his bike down the dirt path to the street before getting on it and peddling off.

"Going for a run, get my mind off Beverly," Ben says honestly to Eddie and Richie, standing up slowly, jogging off into the wooded area.

That leaves Richie and Eddie on the cliff alone, Richie finally stubbing his cigarette out. "So, Eddie, your mom busy?" Richie asks with a smirk.

"God! I hate you, asshole!" Eddie shrieks, shoving Richie jokingly to the side.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill opens up a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lazy ending because I decided this wasn't very good oops

Eddie turns in bed, gazing out the window and thinking too much. I can't do this, he huffs and gets out of bed, padding over to his desk. He pulls out his phone.

_Eddie to big bill 10:23p.m.  
Hey, you up?_

He sends the text hesitantly, his thumb hovering over the arrow for a few moments before deciding that it couldn't hurt too much. Bill views the text within seconds. _He'd already been just on his phone._

_"Ywah, Im up, whu are ypu?"_

_Eddie to big bill 10:24p.m.  
Just can't sleep, are you okay? You're making a lot of typos._

_"I'm finw_  
Actually  
Keep havinf nightmates, cant slwwp" 

Eddie's face curls in worry, a frown finding a cement place on his lips. 

_Eddie to big bill 10:24p.m.  
Do you want me to come over or anything?_

_"Yes please.”_

Eddie's face curls into a frown, Bill never really asks for help, nor even accepts it, so this is a rare occurrence which tells him it must be bad.

He immediately puts on his shoes, not changing out of his pajamas. He creeps down the stairs, past his snoring mother with a near silent snicker. He flinches when the door creaks but he makes it out otherwise with no issues, his legs pedaling his bike as fast as he can to Jackson Street.

He finds Bill's house, the door left carelessly unlocked as Eddie often finds it. He tiptoes up to Bill's room, opening the door with a creak that makes him cringe. He spots Bill on the bed, a blanket covering him completely, quivering shoulders and small gasps for air.

Eddie sighs softly, going to Bill's side immediately, his friend, his leader, the one he looks up to. He's only ever seen him like this once, and that was in the sewers a few days ago with Georgie's coat. This would take getting used to.

He rubs his hands up and down Bill's shaking ba slowly, pulling him close. He pulls the blanket off of Bill's head at least, letting the soft fabric pool around Bill's neck and shoulders. 

"It's okay, let it out, you're safe," he whispers, his own voice unsteady with his worry, wiping a few stray tears from Bill's cheeks.

"N-nightmares, a lot," Bill says through a few gasps of air, letting himself melt into Eddie's arms. 

"I know, Billy, it'll be alright, promise," Eddie promises, brushing Bill's bangs off his forehead, realizing that at least now Bill was opening up in a way he never would have before. _We've changed_ , he thinks to himself.


End file.
